Travel Planning Gone Awry

Once upon a time I considered myself a seasoned traveler.  However, many moons have passed since those days and traveling alone in one’s twenties is far different than doing so with a spouse and two children in one’s forties. 

Example # 1 – Look into visas BEFORE you hit the purchase button

It all began a couple of months ago when I started the initial planning stages for our summer trip to India and China.  While researching flights, it came as a pleasant surprise that for a mere extra $175 (US), we could add on leg to the States.  Needless to say, I jumped on the chance to visit home and eagerly booked the tickets.  Unfortunately, I did not realize the extreme challenges involved for an ex-pat to acquire a Chinese visa while living in Taiwan.  Yes, yes, I know there is a bit of strife between Taiwan and China.  As far as I could tell, the only two ways for us to get visas for China was to either fly back to the U.S. and get them there at an embassy, or fly to Hong Kong for a few days and apply there. After much deliberation, and seeing as neither option was going to fit into my work schedule or my budget, I decided that I would simply cancel the extended stopover in Beijing and fly straight to India.   

Well…. Much to my dismay, that plan led me straight down the path to receiving an

ON-LINE AIRLINE TICKETS FOR SUCKERS AWARD. 

Like I said, my days of extensive travel are far behind me and I suppose I am a little rusty.  Apparently, (and NO the web site did NOT offer me the fine print option at checkout) my too good to be true airline tickets were just that.  I had purchased non-refundable, non-changeable tickets.  Of course, the first airline representative I spoke with informed me that yes, I could change them, but for an additional change ticket fee of $200 per ticket.  I took a day to mull it over and when I called back to book the changes, I spoke with two more customer service reps who told me that unfortunately I had been misinformed (and why did I not know the name of the person I spoke with?)  and that not only could I not change the tickets in any way, shape, or form, but that I could not cancel them and would therefore be forfeiting all of the money that I had paid.    (Note to self, ALWAYS get the name of the person you are talking to before you hang up.) 

After a much-heated discussion, I got off the phone and began to freak out.  Luckily, I must of made a lasting impression on the supervisor, because not thirty minutes later, I received an email from the first person who had misinformed me (for anonymity purposes lets just call him AIRCHINA BRAD) telling me that he was sorry for giving me the wrong information, and yes, he would be happy to change the tickets for me, but unfortunately that being in the sales office, he had no access to the great on-line deals and in order to change my ticket he would have to charge me an additional $2000 (US). 

Oh, holy cow!  By this time I had given up on there being any silver lining, and to make a long story short (too late), I lost a few hours sleep, Googled every possible avenue I could think of for acquiring Chinese visas, and discovered that low and behold there are actually Better Business Bureau approved companies in the U.S. that specialize in getting Chinese visas for people in these situations.  All that is involved is a small fee and the certified / secured Fed-Ex shipping of passports.  Makes me a tad nervous, but then so does losing two grand to an airline.

I am happy to say that I called AIRCHINA BRAD right away and told him thanks, but no thanks.  Whew – lesson learned…. I think.

Example # 2  - When they say book early, they mean it!

Seeing as we did not go anywhere during winter vacation, the family and I decided to use our four-day Memorial weekend to visit the famous Taroko Gorge.  The holiday is on a Tuesday this year and the government is nice enough to give everyone Monday off to make it a four day holiday weekend.  BUT, as you might have heard, nothing is free and to make sure that you don’t get too accustomed to free days, everyone is expected to work on the following Saturday to make up for the Monday that you got off.  Fair is Fair Billy Jean!!!  In a nutshell, having school on Saturday is really going to suck! 

After hearing what a madhouse the island can be during the holidays, I decided to heed everyone’s warning and I booked our hotel over a month and a half ago.  I was quite proud of my organizational skills until the Monday before our trip when I decided I would be REALLY prepared and book our train tickets in advance too.  However, each time I tried to push to “book tickets” button, the computer told me there were no tickets available.  I thought there must be something wrong with the website, so I went to seek assistance from a Taiwanese co-worker who dropped her jaw and said, “Didn’t you know that you have to book your train tickets at least a month in advance on ANY holiday???” 

Sigh… I suppose I should have known that on a tiny island of 23 million people, there just aren’t enough train seats to go around. 

Luckily (I thought) the girls’ teacher took it upon herself to help me out and came back triumphantly.  The only catch was that this was the train that made frequent stops and one way would take 9 hours.  We would get into Hualien at 1 a.m. on Sunday morning and leave to return home at 2 a.m. on Tuesday morning.  I was about to cave and say forget it when Marty insisted that we needed to practice for India and that a very long and uncomfortable train ride was just the ticket.  (Obviously, he had no idea what 9 hours on a train can do to a person.) 

Then he added, “ I thought you were a seasoned traveler. You haven’t been doing too hot with the planning lately.  Perhaps it would be wise if you called a travel agent for our trip this summer.”

Great!  Now the pressure is on.

So here I sit one hour into a nine-hour trip to a place that is only two hours away by car, and the daughter on my right just asked, “ Are we there yet?” 

HELP!!!!

Note:  The trip is now over and we did indeed survive.  I of course only got 2 hours of sleep because of the glorious 2 a.m. train ride home.  I have many adventures to tell, but they will have to wait until I am not so sleep deprived.  I think that all you need to know for now is that Marty thought the train ride was dreadful and of course I got the satisfaction of being right.  I will take what I can get and call that a silver lining… for now.


My friend Jennifer said it best:

Cost of extra leg to the U.S.?       $175

Rebooking of airline tickets?       $2000

Satisfaction of being right
and spouse being wrong?           Priceless

Vanishing Turtles, Roller Disco, and Love Letters

Last weekend the family and I went to a festival to celebrate the 9^th anniversary of the Science Park.  As usual, there were a dizzying amount of food booths, dancing and singing performances, and many men in suits giving speeches that I could not understand. They even had a gigantic wedding ceremony where 20 lucky couples got married on stage at the same time.  I thought that was a bit strange until I learned about all of the fabulous prizes that they received... washers and dryers, an all expense paid two week vacation on a nearby island, brand new computers, etc...  Marty and I considered getting married again, but decided that it would be best if we avoided the limelight and sat this one out.  Our school gave out many free food tickets to the students who planned to attend, so everywhere we turned we ran into families from our school. 

Dancing person in a costume

The marriage procession begins...

I don't know what this is... Marty was taking pictures

Jumpy castle!

And the food madness begins...

Cute little fried eggs

I don't know what this is... something on a stick

Yes, you guessed it!  A french fry covered corn dog. 

At one point during the morning, we ran into Felisha from grade 1.  She was there with her parents, siblings and grandmother.  Her grandmother had apparently heard good things about us and was eager to tell us all about it.  About three minutes into the conversation she asked if the girls could go with her and the other children to look at some fish on the other side of the festival grounds.  I agreed and continued my conversation with her mother, but when I finally caught up with them about ten minutes later I stopped dead in my tracks.  For there before me stood my two children each with a clear plastic bag and gigantic grins on their faces.  In Pilar’s plastic bag was a baby turtle, and in Carmela’s eight smallish fish.  Felisha’s grandmother had a large smile on her face too as she walked over to me, shoved a bottle of turtle food into my hand and announced, “Here, take it!” 

Well, there was little room for negotiation.  This was a very thoughtful gift, just not one that we particularly needed at this time in our lives.  I mean, after all, we were still reeling from the gift of five LARGE fish from our Kung Fu master, one of whom had recently suffered a tragically slow death and then to top it off was partially consumed by his tank mates.  So many lessons about the circle of life to be learned, so little time. 

Needless to say, I thanked her profusely, all the while thinking, “Crap!  We have just gone from no pets to 14 pets in a matter of one week!”  The girls of course were beside themselves with glee and especially seemed to enjoy the fact that a grandmother had tricked me and there was nothing I could do about it.  Luckily, the turtle bag seemed to have a hole in it and its oxygen supply was dwindling fast.  I had to continuously air the bag up myself, but that seemed to freak it out, so being the concerned and responsible pet owner that I am, I bid my family adieu and booked it home to set up two more faux ecosystems in our living room.  The fish were put into an old small tank from our first go around with fish, and the turtle got Tupperware. 

Over the next day, five of the small fish died, and the Tupperware turtle tank transformed into a small oasis complete with a colorful sandy beach, deep swimming pool, and rocky cliffs with which to bask upon.  Although he was not eating and climbing upon the beach appeared difficult, Turtalie the Turtle seemed content.

Then, Thursday night, all of that turtle bliss came to a crashing halt.   The girls and I arrived home around 5:30 to an apartment filled with blaring music.  Marty’s computer had apparently turned itself on, clicked on our itunes account, and was playing music for the entire floor of our apartment building.  I quickly turned the computer off and then heard, “Mom, where is Turtalie?”   I walked over to the “tank” and it was empty.  First we thought that Marty had come home during lunch, found it dead, and then flushed it down the toilet.  But when Marty came home, that theory was shot down.  Then we thought perhaps someone came into our apartment, listened to some music, and took the turtle…but who would leave two laptops and an iPad and opt for a turtle?  Not terribly likely. 

So…. I searched the entire apartment multiple times, but came up empty handed.  All I can assume is that it must either be in a very good hiding spot and we will begin to smell it in a few days when it dies, OR it crawled under the front door, went down the several flights of stairs (or took the elevator) and liberated itself.  I just assumed that there was no way a little turtle could scale four inch tall walls, but one of my students informed me that oh yes, the smaller the turtle, the better the climber.  Good to know!  Now all I can hope is that no more gifts of animals will be bestowed upon us anytime soon.  Of course, that is a pipe dream because as soon as our Kung Fu master heard that the turtle had escaped he said, “Oh, you need turtle!  I know where to get turtle!”  Oh brother!  I can’t wait until we go on vacation this summer and have to find pet sitters for two months.

On a lighter note, the girls begin their after school Rollerblading class this week.  I was concerned about where I was going to find rollerblades, but when I asked the school secretary if she knew where I could find some she said, “Oh, let me call the P.E. coach at the regular school, he can bring some for you to look at.”  Not a day later I got a call from the office and ‘Coach Shark’ was downstairs with skates for us to try on.  I kid you not; he brought two pairs of high quality, adjustable, PINK inline skates, pads, and helmets complete with rolling suitcase for the girls.  He had a stool for them to sit on, took them for a trial spin, and then said, “Just pay me next week.”   I was speechless!  That was the easiest, least painful shopping experience I've ever had.  We spent yesterday morning trying them out at the local outdoor skating rink not two blocks from our apartment, and I am proud to say that in a mere two hours, the girls were on their own, rolling down hills, and having a blast... AND because they are adjustable, I was able to put them on and show them a few of my roller disco moves… that was until of course I did one backward spin too many and ended up on my well padded gluteus maximus.  Marty and the girls thought it was terribly entertaining of course, and it was suggested by my spouse that since I am not as young as I used to be, perhaps I should invest in some pads too.  Pshaw!  As my father always says: “You can’t hurt steel!”… but I suppose you CAN bruise it a tad.

Mr. Gao hard at work teaching his children how to skate

P is down and C is up

C is down and P is up

Whew!  We are pooped!

Last but not least as a belated Valentine’s treat…

Last week my grade 1 students’ assignment was to write a friendly letter to a person of choice.  Below is letter written from Daniel to Felisha. 

"I really have a crush on you.  Do you know what I like about you.....BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
-Daniel

I had taught them the word “crush” earlier in the week as part of a vocabulary lesson.  After a week of hearing that they had crushes on chocolate, crushes on me, crushes on their Mom, I was happy to see that Daniel had a solid understanding of the word’s meaning. 

I just love the power of words, don’t you?

Homework Anyone???

Well, I can now safely say that as a schoolteacher I have seen it all.

What was today’s homework assignment???

Is the suspense killing you yet?

Homework Assignment for Friday, February 10, 2012:

• Collect a stool sample.

No, I am not kidding (or exaggerating as my husband often accuses me of doing)…. not even a little bit.

Disclaimer: I will now fully admit that I am basing this knowledge purely on what I have seen and in my direct experience, so these are merely my personal observations, and as always, I may totally be wrong.

That being said, it seems that one of the important pieces of the nationalized healthcare system here in Taiwan is prevention.  Quite smart, I would say.  It appears that one way they do this is to use the public school system as a venue for periodically checking the health of the nation’s youth by performing mandatory physicals and checkups.  A few weeks back, the students in grades one and four received notice that they were to be given a routine physical that included a dental checkup as well.  The parents were given the option of having it done free of charge by a team of doctors from a local hospital who came to the school for the day, or having it done by a physician of choice.  As far as I could tell, they had to have it done, but it was up to them as to when and where.  My students seemed to find it normal, but the new girl from the States was caught off guard a bit.  One of the boys said, “Oh man, is this where I have to pull down my pants and they look at my xiao niao???” 

(Literally translated xiao niao means “little bird”, but of course this is not what he meant. J)

Needless to say, this comment did not set my student from the U.S. at ease. 

Today, I was brought a stack of packets to go home with instructions (complete with illustrations) on how to take your own stool sample.  Inside the packet were two slips of plastic with a BULLS EYE in the middle of each.  Even though the instructions were in Chinese, I had no trouble figuring out what to do.  I do not wish to be terribly graphic, but my favorite illustration was the baby squatting down, finger on the bulls eye, sticking his finger where the proverbial sun rarely shines. 

The tests are to be conducted this weekend and turned into ME on Monday.

Pardon me…did you say that I am to collect them???? 

(Please insert hint of sarcastic here)

Umm…I don’t believe this was written in the job description when I signed the contract.

One of the administrators in the office told me that it was probably best to have a plastic bag handy so that they could just drop them in and I wouldn’t have to touch them directly.  Boy oh boy, I can’t wait until Monday morning! 

The best part was when I was handing out the packets; I failed to notice that each one had a name sticker on it… because they were in Chinese!  Luckily, one of my students noticed that she had someone else’s before all of the kids left for the day.  I cannot imagine what Monday would have been like if the kids had to swap stool samples in order to match them up with the correct name.  Phew!

Next week’s homework is of course… urine samples!  I get to distribute the little cups and collect them as well.  I can’t wait to update my resume with all of the new skills that I am acquiring in the field of education.

So yes, I am having a bit of fun with my descriptions, but I must say that it seems quite intelligent as far as preventive healthcare goes.  If a child has potential health problems, they are caught sooner rather than later.

My personal children were of course relieved that they did not have to do this particular piece of homework.  

I, on the other hand, wait anxiously to see what riveting new school assignments await me.  

And the Hospitality Continues…

Our winter vacation is coming to a close and I am finally beginning to relax.  It generally takes me about three weeks to acclimate, just in time to go back to work.  Bummer. 

This past week we were invited to dinner at the house of one of my students. She is in the girls’ Chinese class and moved to Taiwan from the U.S. at the same time we did.   Even though she is two years older than the girls, I think she likes to play with them because they have something in common… a love for macaroni and cheese and the ability to speak English well.  Her parents were both born in Taiwan, but moved to the U.S. as teenagers.  The father has been here for about eight years working, and with the arrival of a new baby, the mother and children have recently moved back.  That seems to be quite common here; many families live apart because it is not always easy to find employment in the same city, or country for that matter.

They picked us up at the train station and took us to their apartment in a brand new high rise in Anping.  It was quite stunning and we had a great time taking the tour of the well manicured outdoor pool, game room, and movie / karaoke theater.  Apparently, it is ‘relatively’ affordable to live comfortably here in Tainan, and a similar apartment in Taipei would cost about ten times more.  We had a wonderful time and were served the most amazing dinner.  The girls were beside themselves as they got to sit at the kiddy table and eat Mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and mashed potatoes.  We ended the night with a Barbie fashion show (Marty’s rendition of metro sexual Ken won) and bowling on the Wii.  Of course, Marty ended up playing restaurant with the two year old and as we left, he was the only one she would give a hug to.  Figures!  Just call him the baby whisperer. 

For our second engagement, we had our long-standing coffee date this morning with our Kung Fu master.  At 8:00 am we were they only ones who showed up for Kung Fu class, so we decided to skip it and head straight for coffee.  Master Wen took us to a lovely tree farm on the outskirts of Xinshi, which is also a coffee house.  There were Kung Fu photos on the walls and paintings done by the owner’s daughter.  He brought out several snacks and coffee for everyone, including the girls.  Of course, I wanted to interject, but when in Rome…  Needless to say, they were quite excited and unfortunately, they thought it was delicious.  Luckily, they only drank a few sips… perhaps they hated it and were merely being polite. 

Coffee with Master Wen

After coffee, Master Wen wanted to take us to his house, so we drove a few short miles and were greeted by his wife and oldest son.  Over the course of the next two hours we were given more snacks, tea, lunch, stuffed animals, a bag of oranges, a half gallon of local honey, a large fish tank with filter, AND five rather large fish to go in it.  My head was spinning with his generosity and I didn’t quite know what to do.  There were three empty fish tanks on the first floor and he said that he had fish tanks on each of the other three floors, so I can only assume that he was looking to get rid of a few.  As for the fish, I thought he was only going to give the girls two, but after the fifth one, we had to stop him.  As he scooped out number five, it accidentally flopped out onto the floor and the girls went nuts.  We quickly hurried home after that so that the fish would not run out of oxygen in that tiny bag, and we could frantically set up the tank and liberate them.  It all happened so fast and now I sit here and wonder just how we managed to adopt 5 new pets in the course of about two hours.   I also secretly hope they survive the night... I think I might have bad fish karma!

Master Wen scooping out fish number one

Did that fish just fall into the outer bag???

Scooping large fish out of the outer bag...
 (shortly thereafter it flopped onto the floor)

Five new fish at home... Safe and sound!
(Their names are posted above the tank, lest we forget)

Kung Fu Fish

I am not accustomed to so much generosity on such a frequent basis.  Sure, my friends and I did nice things for one another back home, but these are people we have just met and they treat us like family.  As I am writing this, a neighbor just rang the doorbell and brought us a big bag of fruits and vegetables…for no reason. 

It is enough to either make you feel extremely fortunate, guilty for accepting it all of the time, or it makes you begin thinking about how you can reciprocate… how about all three?!

I guess I need to fire up the old toaster oven and start baking cookies or something. 

Right… I’ll get right on that!